2 kids and counting…

When I was 21 I thought I’d never have kids, to be honest, I didn’t want them either. But soon after my birthday, that all changed and I found out I was expecting Baby Bird Girl. More like she was just resting before she unleashed her “Baby Bird Girlness” on the world. The minute I found out I was pregnant with her, I knew she was exactly what I wanted and exactly what I needed in my life. She is the best thing I’ve ever done.

I was so scared thinking about how I was going to take care of her and how good of a mother I would be. I think these are normal concerns, at least they seem normal to me. I was no longer with her father and that made it so much more terrifying but I made it. I don’t regret anything at all.

Sometimes when I wonder what happened to my sister and when she decided to give up on her kids, I try to think back and remember how scared I was before I had Baby Bird Girl and how helpless I felt. Is this what happened to her? Maybe the fear broke her and she just gave up. She was a lot younger then me when she had Squarepants. Sometimes I wish that was the answer because not knowing is pretty hard to deal with and I’m sure its even worse for Squarepants.

It just seems to me that she has given up and she is okay with forgetting that she has a daughter that she doesn’t raise. She will tell you all day long about how much she cares for her but I don’t see her showing it. Honestly though, its not me she needs to prove herself too. I just wish she’d be a mom for Squarepants. What could mean more then your kids?

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