That’s what my life feels like right now. I’m not complaining though and for the most part, no matter how hectic it may feel, everything that is happening is a good thing. I’m pretty happy with the place I’m at in life right now.
That being said, the bad things that have happened suck pretty bad. The worst being my cousin Mike dying on Wednesday. I have a lot of regrets concerning Mike, the main one being how far apart we got over the years. In my mind there didn’t seem like a huge rush and now I know that wasn’t true. I’m glad he started coming over here more and that I got to meet his wife Jan.
I feel like the last year was a waste and I’m glad that I’m back in school. Having a goal keeps me more focused on what’s important. So far this year I’ve really come to term with how short life can be. I thought I understood when Don died but now I’ll be turning 30 in May and people I grew up with are passing away. All of this is wearing pretty hard on me. I know I’m not old and I probably have years left, hopefully decades, but its a shock to my system to come to term with how much time has already passed.
I have to let go of things and even people who are slowing me down or making things more difficult for me to go further in life. Its actually kind of shocking to see how many things and people I’ve had to let go. I know this makes me seem cold, heartless but I tried it the other way, I tried fixing the problems and it doesn’t work.
Man this blog is even starting to bore me. I had this desire to write, explain things that were going on in my life but all I seemed to manage was to write another boring post. Boo.