I absolutely refuse to turn 30. I actually, embarrassing enough, think about this quite a bit. I don’t want it to happen and therefore I’ve decided that it’s just not going too. Okay, that’s not true. I’m a rational person and I know its going to happen but I’m not happy about it. At all. In fact, I’m down right furious.
I don’t know how it happened so quick. Isn’t that what we hear all the time while we are young? “Slow down, life goes too quick.” “Yeah, right.” We say. 1 them – 0 me. It happened a lot quicker than I ever thought it would. They really downplayed the quickness.
I don’t feel 30, well 29+1 as I will only call it. I find myself doing things that I am embarrassed of doing because I will be 29+1 soon. Like playing video games, giggling, and not using a cane to walk. I just want to slow things down. In my crazy brain I actually imagine myself turning 29+1 and very, very shortly after I will wrinkle up, turn grey and start requesting that people talk slower and louder. Time will fly quickly after that and before you know it I will be 29+11. That will not be any good at all.
I really paid no mind to my age until the last three years. I stopped saying I was 27, 28 or 29 but that I was too close to 30. Why am I so paranoid about this one simple number? 29+1 is the new 19+1 right? Maybe if you’re a movie star but I seem to be aging at the normal rate of a normal person and not like someone who is reliant on silicon or Botox. Although, it would be nice to take some from the top and implant in the rear. I could be the new J-Lo. She’s over 29+1 and she’s had two kids, at the same time no less, she looks way younger than I feel.
I definitely won’t be answering the phone on my birthday. I love my friends but I know they are wretched, horrible people who only want to wish me the best of luck and hope I have a happy 30th birthday. I refuse to be made a fool of! (Just kidding) I know they will only give me what I gave each one of them when they turned 30. I do now wish I would have maybe had the foresight to see that perhaps if I was going to be so paranoid about turning 30 myself, I should have kept my big mouth shut. Granted, that would be thinking ahead and I am totally against that.
So instead of studying for a Chemistry test that I am scheduled for tomorrow, I am worrying about how my body will suddenly fall apart when I turn the big Three Zero. Constructive right? Not so much, I know but in my head I have decided that they will be canceling class tomorrow since they have both Monday and Tuesday. Which means they will absolutely not being canceling class tomorrow and I will have to go to the Chemistry test that I knew I wouldn’t have too and didn’t study for because instead I was worrying about being another decade older. But at least I’m prepared for something…sort of. Not really.