Tag Archive | christmas

I made it through Finals week and the Holidays!

20121230-233750.jpg I’ve officially made it through the holidays! (Yes, I know New Year’s hasn’t happened but generally there is no family involved with that.) This year actually went surprising well, with little to no drama other than a person who doesn’t think before she speaks. I’m rather pleased with the outcome.

20121230-233953.jpg Natalie got the American Girl Doll she has wanted forever (actually for only about two months. Which is really weird because she’s never wanted any doll of any sort before) and Grace got good old cash. Which is something she really wanted.

20121230-234253.jpg I got a car stereo for Christmas which I installed myself (surprised even me, I figured I would be in the market for a new car) and I’m extremely happy because now I can hook my iPhone up to it without having to find a radio station for my stupid FM transmitter thing. Now, I’m just sitting at the house waiting for school to start and grateful that I have a few more weeks without it. Even though I’m going insane with how bored I am.

20121230-234601.jpg Over the holidays a few topics on religion have came up. Mostly about how people are thankful for their religion and how they are celebrating their particular beliefs in their own ways. I love speaking to people about their beliefs and don’t mind even discussing my own as long as the topic doesn’t get heated and hate isn’t spewed. Unfortunately, I think for a lot of people it’s hard not to get into a heated debate over ones own beliefs and that is what turns most people off from discussing it at all.

20121230-234923.jpg For me one discussion didn’t turn out so great and there was intolerance being thrown from both sides of the table. These are the discussions I hate the most. They typically involve two people who feel their way is the only way and anyone else is either dumb or an awful person. Even though I didn’t actively participate in the conversation and instead stood to the side trying to keep the blood shed to a minimum, I noticed that it wasn’t just one side being guilty of intolerance but BOTH sides. To me this is counter productive for both parties and a giant waste of time.

20121230-235412.jpg The most common argument I see is for religious freedom and it seems most people are stating they want it. Where it becomes a problem is when people are asking for religious freedom but don’t understand that it means for everyone and every religion, not just for them and their religion. People ask for prayer in school but don’t want other religions to be able to practice their own form of prayer and worship. How does this even make sense to people? Why does it seem okay to call yourself a religious person and then practice hate and intolerance? It doesn’t seem to me (and I am by no means an expert on religion) that intolerance and hate is taught in any religion. So why does this make you a good practitioner if your own religion condemns it?

20121230-235827.jpg I suppose all of this is sort of confusing for me and hard to put together like a puzzle. I think the lesson I’ve learned is family gatherings are no place for politics and religion.



20121125-054824.jpg I try to remember what it was like before I had Natalie (I’ve given up on nicknames, they were weird even to me) and who I was as a person. I’m not doing this because I don’t want to be a mom or I look back on those days in longing. I’m doing this because I want to see if I’ve grown as a person. Have I made myself better or worse?

To be honest, I don’t really remember much about the time before I became Natalie’s mom. I’m not sure I’m missing much by not remembering either. I don’t think I was a bad person or a good person for that matter, I just wasn’t much of anything at all.

20121125-055342.jpg I don’t know what the point of trying to remember this time is or even why I’m blogging about it. I just hope that I’ve progressed since then. I know that having Natalie has changed my life. She has made me worry about my future and her’s. I care what she thinks of me; I especially don’t want her to be ashamed or embarrassed of me. Someone once told me that I write on this blog, my facebook statuses ad any status for that matter because I crave attention. I want people to tell me the truth, even if I don’t want to hear it. Again, thats something thats been up for debate.

20121125-061148.jpg I’m babbling now and I know it. I’m exhausted and not sleeping because I’m sick. I’m also very whiney it would seem. I’m going to try and make a point to all of this. I know I’m not a perfect person and I don’t expect people to call me one or pretend that I’m one. I love my daughter and I’m glad she came around. I hope I make her proud and she realizes how much I love her.