I have my first clinical day tomorrow and of course I can’t sleep. Yesterday I had no problem sleeping and I even woke super early. Now I am sitting in front of my iPad trying to figure out what I want to talk about. Of course, I’m drawing a blank. Nothing new there.
I’ve officially made it through the holidays! (Yes, I know New Year’s hasn’t happened but generally there is no family involved with that.) This year actually went surprising well, with little to no drama other than a person who doesn’t think before she speaks. I’m rather pleased with the outcome.
Natalie got the American Girl Doll she has wanted forever (actually for only about two months. Which is really weird because she’s never wanted any doll of any sort before) and Grace got good old cash. Which is something she really wanted.
I got a car stereo for Christmas which I installed myself (surprised even me, I figured I would be in the market for a new car) and I’m extremely happy because now I can hook my iPhone up to it without having to find a radio station for my stupid FM transmitter thing. Now, I’m just sitting at the house waiting for school to start and grateful that I have a few more weeks without it. Even though I’m going insane with how bored I am.
Over the holidays a few topics on religion have came up. Mostly about how people are thankful for their religion and how they are celebrating their particular beliefs in their own ways. I love speaking to people about their beliefs and don’t mind even discussing my own as long as the topic doesn’t get heated and hate isn’t spewed. Unfortunately, I think for a lot of people it’s hard not to get into a heated debate over ones own beliefs and that is what turns most people off from discussing it at all.
For me one discussion didn’t turn out so great and there was intolerance being thrown from both sides of the table. These are the discussions I hate the most. They typically involve two people who feel their way is the only way and anyone else is either dumb or an awful person. Even though I didn’t actively participate in the conversation and instead stood to the side trying to keep the blood shed to a minimum, I noticed that it wasn’t just one side being guilty of intolerance but BOTH sides. To me this is counter productive for both parties and a giant waste of time.
The most common argument I see is for religious freedom and it seems most people are stating they want it. Where it becomes a problem is when people are asking for religious freedom but don’t understand that it means for everyone and every religion, not just for them and their religion. People ask for prayer in school but don’t want other religions to be able to practice their own form of prayer and worship. How does this even make sense to people? Why does it seem okay to call yourself a religious person and then practice hate and intolerance? It doesn’t seem to me (and I am by no means an expert on religion) that intolerance and hate is taught in any religion. So why does this make you a good practitioner if your own religion condemns it?
I don’t really have anything to say and no pictures to post but I haven’t posted in so long. Most of the blame for that is I’m actually trying to better in school and I don’t really have time. The other thing is my life has become so out of whack. Chaotic is an understatement. My life isn’t the only thing that has become chaotic since I last posted, apparently the world has become seriously (more so than before, I suppose) messed up.
The school shootings in Connecticut effected me horribly as I know it did most people. People say it’s because I’m a mom but I don’t think that’s it. I think like the rest of the world, I was in shock and couldn’t understand how any of this could be happening. I wish there was more I could say. Some way to express my feelings about what happened. I honestly just don’t know how. I’m just so glad for my kids.
My life has been pretty boring lately. I always seem to be studying or taking a test. On top of all that I seem to have developed a bug that just won’t go away and I am either vomiting or in bed thinking about vomiting. On a good note, I’m done with school until after the holidays and I passed everything. So I’m not a complete failure, just a giant bore.
Enjoy the pics.
So I’ve picked up photography as a hobby. I have been extremely stressed out and disappointed with myself over school lately. I needed a break and pronto. I have always been interested in pictures, photography and almost anything pretty. So I decided to take a whirl at it. (Helped that a good point and shoot was on sale at the time.)
I’m not very good at it. Not that I expected to be perfect at it the minute I started but I’m not sure if I have an eye for it. I’m still learning all the technical terms; aperture, shutter speed, ISO and DoF. I read and read but I forget everything within a few minutes. Could be why I’m not doing so good this semester at school.
I’m going to take a picture every day. For the first week I want to try taking similar picture but working with my manual settings. I generally post several pictures every time I post so it will be nice to be ones I’ve taken recently.
I may not be good at this and I may only do it for a week but it has helped with the stress. I’ve spent the whole weekend relaxing and reading. Now I need to go to bed so I can go back to stressful nursing stuff this week.
I want to write more blogs and get more feelings out but then I realize I don’t have the time. Even though I’m doing it now, it has to be short and sweet.
I feel like I’m neglecting myself. I’ve been meaning to post but I just haven’t felt like doing much of anything. I’m not depressed or anything, at least I don’t feel that way. I’m just sort of blah. I’m blah because I don’t feel like I’m living up to what I expect out of myself and that needs to change; quickly.
I even feel like I’m letting myself down by not blogging. Its turned more into a journal than a blog. Its also helped a lot. It helps keep me on track and keep me grounded. Especially knowing that other people may read and see what I’ve been doing or not doing.
I think I have moved on from posting depressing things. But for the last week I’ve found myself in a rut. I think I’m getting stressed about nursing school. I don’t like how the conversion from quarters to semesters has forced us to retake classes. People literally think we’ve failed. That’s hard for a person like me, not that its easy for anyone.
I’m an avid reader. I read all the time but this last semester I haven’t been able to read the books for school. As I type all of this I realize that a lot of my issues this semester go back to the way we had to repeat these classes. It just feels like we got pushed back. We got a bum deal and there is literally nothing we can do about it. Our only options are to continue with the class or drop out and wait for another school to let you in.
I know I’m babbling now. I’m tired but I needed to write something, get something down so I could read it later and see that I could have been a lot more productive if I would have opened a school book instead of turning on my iPad.