Oh man.

20121106-015126.jpg I haven’t posted like I wanted to lately. I just can’t seem to find the time or the motivation. I’m not even reading other people’s blogs lately. I’m just so blah.

20121106-015236.jpg I have been taking pictures though, well sort of, I’ve even slowed down on that. I don’t feel like I’m any good at it. When I’m not good at things, I just stop.

20121106-015319.jpg I don’t want to stop though. I really enjoy photography. I don’t want it to be my job but I like it as a hobby. I suppose thats enough babbling for now.

Enjoy the pics.


New hobby

20121022-033657.jpg So I’ve picked up photography as a hobby. I have been extremely stressed out and disappointed with myself over school lately. I needed a break and pronto. I have always been interested in pictures, photography and almost anything pretty. So I decided to take a whirl at it. (Helped that a good point and shoot was on sale at the time.)

20121022-034146.jpg I’m not very good at it. Not that I expected to be perfect at it the minute I started but I’m not sure if I have an eye for it. I’m still learning all the technical terms; aperture, shutter speed, ISO and DoF. I read and read but I forget everything within a few minutes. Could be why I’m not doing so good this semester at school.

20121022-034507.jpg I’m going to take a picture every day. For the first week I want to try taking similar picture but working with my manual settings. I generally post several pictures every time I post so it will be nice to be ones I’ve taken recently.

20121022-034731.jpg I may not be good at this and I may only do it for a week but it has helped with the stress. I’ve spent the whole weekend relaxing and reading. Now I need to go to bed so I can go back to stressful nursing stuff this week.

Neglecting myself

20121006-020300.jpg I feel like I’m neglecting myself. I’ve been meaning to post but I just haven’t felt like doing much of anything. I’m not depressed or anything, at least I don’t feel that way. I’m just sort of blah. I’m blah because I don’t feel like I’m living up to what I expect out of myself and that needs to change; quickly.

20121006-020650.jpg I even feel like I’m letting myself down by not blogging. Its turned more into a journal than a blog. Its also helped a lot. It helps keep me on track and keep me grounded. Especially knowing that other people may read and see what I’ve been doing or not doing.

20121006-021145.jpg I think I have moved on from posting depressing things. But for the last week I’ve found myself in a rut. I think I’m getting stressed about nursing school. I don’t like how the conversion from quarters to semesters has forced us to retake classes. People literally think we’ve failed. That’s hard for a person like me, not that its easy for anyone.

20121006-021900.jpg I’m an avid reader. I read all the time but this last semester I haven’t been able to read the books for school. As I type all of this I realize that a lot of my issues this semester go back to the way we had to repeat these classes. It just feels like we got pushed back. We got a bum deal and there is literally nothing we can do about it. Our only options are to continue with the class or drop out and wait for another school to let you in.

20121006-022257.jpg I know I’m babbling now. I’m tired but I needed to write something, get something down so I could read it later and see that I could have been a lot more productive if I would have opened a school book instead of turning on my iPad.

Depends on which way you’re standing.

20120922-205207.jpg This picture is of Squarepants falling down the slide after she tried to run up it. Someone has definitely put something in the water around here. I’ve spent the majority of the night staring at the children with my mouth open, incapable of responding. I’m actually a bit scared.

20120922-205516.jpg We spent about an hour outside and the two of them went completely nuts. Squarepants tried to slide down the slide but what she forgot is she is 5’8″ and it didn’t work out so well. But at least she was out there playing.

20120922-205742.jpg Then BBG tried to swing so high that it would flip over the top. I think all of us have tried this at one point but it really made me wonder what her plan was going to be after it flipped over the top and she was suspended upside down. I love them.

20120922-205905.jpg Then we came inside and jokingly asked Squarepants which hand was her right. She responded with “Depends which way you are standing.” Children sometimes…

20120922-210130.jpg When I thought they had both calmed down and nothing more could possibly happen. I walked into the bathroom, which wasn’t locked and found BBG taking a bath, with the puppy. They both looked at me like “Why is your face like that?” Because obviously it was the most normal thing in the world.

Nearly wordless Wednesday: I don’t get it.

I guess I understand the meaning, obviously you are more quite on your blog on Wednesday but what started it? I’ve tried to google it but all that pops up is post from people on Nearly Wordless Wednesday. This seems to be a big deal since there were a lot of hits on my search. Can someone feel sorry for me and explain to me what it is?

I feel like I’m lagging behind.

20120919-230536.jpg I feel like I did back in 2010, which isn’t a bad thing. I was more together back then. I felt like I knew where I belonged and where I was going. For the last couple years, I haven’t felt like that. I’ve felt lost, scared, alone and that I couldn’t do anything right. For almost two weeks, I’ve felt different, better but different.

20120919-230438.jpg I keep telling myself that school is worth it. It is!! Being a typically rational person I know that I need to stop procrastinating, stop reading other blogs, stop writing on my own blog and just study. I know tomorrow I’m going to pay for not studying and I’m going to feel awful. I will then make myself a promise (which I won’t keep) to study better and not get behind again (which I will). I’ve even gone as far as taking pictures of my book instead of opening it.

20120919-230719.jpg I’ve been doing research on how to make my blog better so maybe people will read it. I just really would like some input on whether other people are in the same situation as me. That is a hard task because I don’t even know what situation I am in. This almost sounds like I’m complaining but I’m really not. Outside of a few things like being a huge procrastinator, I’m in a pretty good place.